Mamacita Mexicana.

« Are you there Guadalupe? It’s me, Miranda.

Mamacita Mexicana.

December 10, 2009 by oaxacangringa

Okay so, this being a mom thing – I really love it. I mean, I love my kid more than life itself – he’s amazing. No, really, he’s AMAZING. He comes to parties, art-openings, out to swank restaurants and just chills. I simply throw him in the sling and we’re off. I’ve chatted with numerous Mamas and have been told that this is not the norm for many two month olds, so I feel really lucky. Some people think I’m crazy to take him out with me wherever, whenever, passing him around like a hot potato – but he doesn’t make a fuss and it works for us. As long as Maxwell is fed, changed and not in the same place or position for too long, he’s super tranquilo. I appreciate that he’s down to come out. And I know it won’t last forever, so I’m enjoying it while I can.

I know that in a few months, he’ll hit that super-Neanderthal baby stage, when he starts crawling and teething and putting everything on Earth in his mouth, and we may end up a bit more homebound, just because it’ll be easier. And as much as I love going about my life and taking my kid along, I’m surprised at the ease with which I’ve come to appreciate the “stay at home mom” thing. I can’t believe it, but I don’t mind being home as much as I thought I would.

Sometimes I’m the quintessential Mexican Mama. I spend entire days cooking, cleaning, changing diapers and listening to talk radio. I’ve officially come in contact with my inner Donna Reed. And it’s easy to do that here – in a place where being a mother is looked at as a given, a good thing, a priority.

Also, the fact that I’m a mom makes me feel more integrated, more part of the community here. Before, I was just a Gringa, an outsider, a tourist. Then when I was pregnant with a half-Mexican kid, I gained some more clout. Now, with a babe in a rebozo, strolling through the market, I realize that I’m part of a club, the not-so-secret society of Mexican Mothers. I was thrilled to discover I was automatically a member of this club, but it turns out there’s some hazing involved. There are some very specific rules that MUST be followed, and unfortunately, I never got the handbook, so I get reminders, suggestions and advice in all forms at least once a day…

For instance, just in case I don’t know, or I might have forgotten, Oaxacan friends, family members and perfect strangers consistently remind me of the most basic thing: CUIDARLO! Take CARE of your baby! How old is he? Wow! So little! Be careful with him on the street! Then rules get more specific (sometimes insistent) often having to do with climate concerns. Cover him up! Put a hat on him. A winter hat! And don’t forget the socks! Isn’t he cold? (It’s 77 degrees.) Isn’t it a little late for him to be out? (It’s 7:45pm) Isn’t he a bit squished in that sling you have him in? (Noooo.) You’re not going to bring him into the KITCHEN, are you? (Huh?) If he’s exposed to the smell of food, he’ll get swollen glands! (Hmmm. I’ll take it into consideration.) Where’s his red string? (Red string?) He needs a piece of red string on him to ward off the evil eye. (Oh, right! I’m on it.) And are you drinking your Atole?

Let me pause here on the Atole bit. Rewind to when I was 8 months pregnant. Everyone and their mother told me that in order for my milk to come in, I should drink Atole. Atole is kind of like a cream corn soupy porridge, but without that perfect sweet-salt-cream combination. It’s this THICK, hot, grainy, maiz based beverage which I liken to the gruel that made Oliver Twist get out of his chair and demand “Food glorious Food.” Sorry, ladies who love it. I know it’s supposed to increase your milk supply immensely, and I do feel bad about offending the Mexican corn goddess, but YUCK! And if I had a dime for how many women have told me that I need to drink Atole, I’d be living on a beachfront property in Puerto Escondido right about now. (By the way – my milk supply – out of control. I’m a fountain over here, no Atole necessary.)

Okay, glad I got all that out. Enough kvetching. I’ve known for a long time that Mexico, like everywhere, has its own idiosyncracies. Yes, it is sometimes challenging to be discovering motherhood a world away from my darling NYC, (where it really is freezing but nobody would dare tell me to cover up my kid). But it’s actually comforting to know that so many people are genuinely concerned for the well-being of my son. In the end, being in Oaxaca reminds me that the old adage – it takes a village to raise a child – is still in effect… I’m glad I’m here to witness and be a part of it.

Now, I know I’ve got some red string around here somewhere…

Posted in Motherhood | Tagged Atole, Baby, Breastfeeding, Celebrities, Donna Reed, Madre Luz, Motherhood, Mothering, Oaxaca, Oaxacan Cuisine, Parenting, Real Life, Rebozo | 14 Comments

14 Responses

on December 10, 2009 at 9:04 pm | Reply zoe

oh bethie. i’m so glad you are loving motherhood and i miss you dearly.

btw, my mom told me that when i was a babe in NYC people used to come up to her all the time to tell her to cover me up and give other advice. now that was 30 years ago, but it did happen.
on December 10, 2009 at 9:35 pm | Reply levanacooks

Lol! Those Mexican mamas sound a lot like Jewish mamas! I’ve probably got some red string from the last time I went to Israel. I’ll look for it…
on December 13, 2009 at 4:24 am | Reply Leah

Nice post – glad I stumbled on your blog!
on December 13, 2009 at 7:18 am | Reply Leslie Limon

Did you know that the red string also cures the hiccups?

In all seriousness, thank you so much for sharing this wonderful time in your life. Many blessings to you and your family.
on December 18, 2009 at 9:45 pm | Reply Teresa (from yoga!)

So, I’m an atole-free milk-fountain over here, too–but have you gotten “tu leche no le llena”? I can handle the evil eye-avoidance, the where’s-his-hat, the CUIDALO! But “tu leche no le llena” is the one that makes me grind my teeth. “A POCO no le das NADA de formula?–but he’s CRYING, it MUST be because your overly abundant milk doesn’t fill him up, he NEEDS artificial laboratory milk from NESTLE to SURVIVE!” Arrg.

Hope you’ll keep writing on here!
on December 22, 2009 at 12:16 am | Reply Jessica

Was sent to your blog by Lauren (who also happened to be MY prenatal yoga teacher). I love how you write and I seriously am smiling to myself as I’m reading your blogs. We have alot in common. I am from NJ, married to a Oaxacan, and also had a homebirth with a midwife in late April here in Oaxaca. Maybe our paths and those of our babies will cross one day. Suerte!
on December 28, 2009 at 11:04 pm | Reply Kirsten

Hola Beth,
I have been looking for info everywhere on Madre Luz and the rebozos that they sell. I have recently come to Oaxaca from San Cristobal, Chiapas where the Luna Maya birth center sold the Madre Luz rebozos. Any chance you could tell me where to start looking here in Oaxaca?
And felicidades on your birth and new life as a mama!
–Kirsten
on December 29, 2009 at 4:25 am | Reply Jessica

Kirsten,

You can find the rebozos at Museo de Textil on Hidalgo in the Centro. That’s where I bought mine.

Jessica
on December 29, 2009 at 8:02 pm | Reply Teresa

All these expat moms in Oaxaca!–We should all get together in the non-internet world one of these days…
on December 30, 2009 at 3:00 am | Reply Jessica

I agree. My email is teachrjess@gmail.com if you’re interested in meeting up one of these days.
on January 7, 2010 at 1:46 am | Reply Karen

Congratulations, Your son is so handsome. He looks to be good size, that helps a lot here in Mexico, also being half gringo makes him kind of genetically protected. lol The gripa, the evil-eye, we just don’t seem as susceptible to them. There are a couple of illnesses that he may get because of that. Seriously, my grandson had something at a few months that almost no Mexican babies have a problem with. The pediatrician explained to my daughter that it was her lack of exposure as a baby. She had no immunity to pass on to him.

I had my babies years ago in the states but without drugs, except for the last who had to be a cesarean. Lots more hours for me, I am envious, maybe if I had hugged a few trees on the way in.

I recently saw the newborn “directions” given to a friend here in Mexico by the hospital. You need to know that from midnight until 5 AM you should not nurse him, but only give him tea. And I agree with Teresa about the almighty God Nestle. How sad that these women have been deceived into thinking the milk their bodies make for their babies is inferior to lab milk. My daughter’s in-laws were bad about giving her son formula when she was out of the room. Drove her nuts. One of many reasons she had the other two in the states. (Another being a forced cesarean.)

Oh, and just in case you ever grow Papaya there in Oaxaca, they need red strings to grow also. We are also “from” there, far eastern part of the state- Tuxtepec.

Lots of luck!
on January 23, 2010 at 9:50 pm | Reply Gringa-N-Mexico

OHHHHH this sounds so familiar!!! – Not the tranquil baby part but all of the advice from well meaning Mexican Inlaws. My 5.5 week old gets all of the same critique – “MY DIOS she doesn’t have SOCKS!!!” and I get the weird sideways looks to go along with it And the Atole!! EEEEEEE YES!! And YUCK tambien!! AHAHA LOL they made me drink some at Christmas and I just about gagged, it had been sitting on the stove for a few hours and was starting to congeal in spots *gag gag*.

I’m so jealous of your sling wearing ease, I hope HOPE I can get my little one in the swing of things in that dept. I love this post, keep em coming!

- Lindy
on February 28, 2010 at 3:56 am | Reply Vadose

Just found your blog! Love the post. Had the same experiences with the Mexican Mamas after I had my baby last June here in Jalisco.
on May 13, 2010 at 4:07 am | Reply momosmama

Hey!
I dont know if you will read this but I really accidentally found your blog when I was looking for Oaxacas csection rate. Im from Iowa, and I had my duaghter here in Oaxaca by csection, and am now trying for a vbac. I thought it was cool to find another American mom out there who gets all that crazy advice and then I saw that you had your son with Lauren French Beam, and I have actually been thinking about having this baby with her!